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The Millennial holiday conspiracy theory

The year is 2020 and every day is a holiday or a national day for something. When I say something I quite literally mean anything. We are making every day on the calendar a day to celebrate something random. For instance, the other day was national boyfriend day. Sure that's a cool day and all if you're a boyfriend. However, we are just making up random days to have reason to make an Instagram post.

I also think companies are making up "national days" as well to have reasons to do a sales promotion. An example would be national pizza and national cheese day. I get an update from the dominoes app on my phone every time those days come along. And Dominoes just so happens to use those days to remind me that they exist and to throw a deal in my face. Sure a business has to make money, but I think something deeper is going on here. Probably. Maybe. Or maybe I just keep a poor track of time because I'm getting older.

It sure does seem like these "national days" happen every month or two and not annually. This could very possibly be happening and we would have no idea. What normal human beings would even think to try and remember when national cheese or boyfriend day is?

So Hunter, what the hell is the conspiracy theory you're trying to get at here. I'll be honest with you. I haven't completely debunked it yet. I really just think someone is fucking with us and telling us it's these "national days" just so that they laugh about how easily influenced us internet users are. Or maybe it's just Twitter making it a trending hashtag each morning. I don't know. What I do know though is that it sure seems like these days aren't consistent. I'm going to do some real journalism and record each random national day down and call someone out on their bullshit. I'm going to bring the whole system down.

Also, tomorrow is national no bra day. I found that through my research. That's a day I can get behind and won't question. According to

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